Exclude 3 things in life.

it would be very rare for a single day to pass without me feeling disappointed, frustrated. and i blame no one but me myself. when mommy was around i remember telling her

"why are you doing all these by yourself?"

and her usual respond would be

"because im avoiding myself from disappointment"

i did not get it at first. whats the relation between doing everything by yourself and the feeling of disappointment? but as im getting older, i have fully understood each and every word.

disappointment simply means

'sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one's hope or expectations'

hope? expectations? these two are strongly related when it comes to seeking for help from anyone especially our loved ones or the ones who are really close to us. although it might sound simple

"can you help me....."

deep down we have set certain expectations for them, we even hope those tasks could be done perfectly or at least... near perfect. and the thing that usually saddens us is when they failed to do as how we wanted them to. or perhaps they failed to meet our expectations as the outcome was far from perfect. this.. the silent thoughts we have, the silent expectations and hopes we have inside us are the reasons why sometimes it's best for us to do things by ourselves, it's best for us to suffer from doing what we needed to do rather than passing it to someone else which we will end up dealing with all kinds of negative emotions thus causing us to feel extra tired. 

at first i find it hard to live such a life where for most of the things, you'll have to do them alone. seek help only when you desperately need it and selebihnya try your best to do it by yourself. but then again, when i think of it properly, its not a bad thing pun. it's much more better for you to feel tired once but the results could satisfy you for real. it's much better for you to do it by yourself and you know you could reach your own expectations instead of letting yourself down due to the quality given by the person you assigned to.

one of the last calls i had with my mom, she told me

"live in this world with no judgements, no expectations and no hope"

what she meant was, dont judge anyone as you do not know what kind of life the person is living in and likewise who are you to judge when none was born perfect in this world. no expectations is what i would wanna emphasise in this post. when you have nil expectations, the percentage of you dealing with the feeling of frustration, disappointment will decrease tremendously. expect nothing from everyone only then you could search for happiness. lastly, no hope which is somehow similar to no expectation but i would like to further explain it by using the post i once shared in 2017 which is,

'I honestly love a quote which says " hope for the best, prepare for the worst "(I got it somewhere). Because, for the first part, it's not only about hoping for miracles to happen, it's about your effort in changing impossible to possible. And after you've worked hard, then you're allowed to hope for the best since you've done everything you could. The second one involves preparation. As we all know, in this world, none can be predicted. No one knows what would happen a minute later, perhaps we might lose a thing or someone which/who means the world to us. Hence, we must always be prepared for the worst so that we could prevent ourselves from dealing with depression due to a calamity which approaches us in a blink of an eye. Regardless, let's have faith in Allah, always'

you can have hope when you know you have given your best but if things were to go against your plans then you would have to be prepared beforehand, make sure you have listed your backup plans and not dwell into sadness with no further actions for such a long time. also.. you would need to get back to Him as the one who plans best is Allah, not us. we could plan, but Allah decides. everything gets back to Allah. hence the reason why mommy simplified it as "have no hope" 

because it's true. when you dont put high hope on something, when you dont expect too much, when you stop judging anyone, wallahi you could live a happier life. or another way to conclude mommy's advice would be

'have limit in everything'

'go with the flow'

you can have hope but not too high. you can have expectations but not too much. as for judgement, better not to do it at all because everyone has his or her own weaknesses. work on our weaknesses and let other work on theirs. all in all, live your life according to Allah's rules and do your best in everything, whatever is the results in the future, He knows while we dont. obviously there'll be times yang we would feel exhausted or overwhelmed etc but never forget that Allah is always with us. dont feel shy to seek for strength, dont feel shy to seek for help.

Allah is All-Listening.

He listens.

so pray your heart out. cry your eyes out.

He listens, He surely does.

Have faith.

anyway, on a side note, this is not applicable in working life. especially when you're a leader of an organisation because as a leader, you'll have to teach, guide and lead. not to do everything by yourself and ended up suffering all alone, that's completely wrong. that's not teamwork. execute tasks accordingly, guide and team them throughout the journey, and let them learn together. whatever i have shared above, is only applicable in life (generally).

Love,

Greenish Moon